We mostly rely on each other in a relationship, which leads to a dependency. It is seen as a negative feature of any relationship because we have a primal fear of being alone. A catchall feeling of isolation while having no reliable, trustworthy partner reminds us of unsatisfactory past relationship. It is not a fashion hair salon which we can always change with no negative response. So, is there any kind of a balanced dependence which can be called a healthy one?
1. The dependency issue
We share the empathy with our partners, which leads us to feel vulnerable without the loving one. The closeness which creates such a feeling is normal because the mutual support is what creates the comfort of feeling safety. On the other hand, we mostly sense ambivalence about such a dependency. Losing a partner will ruin the comfort and leave us stressed.
2. A destructive form
We are interdependent throughout our lives when joining groups and creating own families. The purpose of working in teams is to achieve more than we could do solo. The attempts of creating and maintaining a distance between the partners to lessen the dependency discard the genuine openness in a relationship. We get only stress and disappointment except obtaining essential skills of building a healthy mutual relationship. Such destructive experiences lead us to a loop of negative attempts.
3. Why should we rely on someone else?
Besides being dependent doesn’t feel great, an open and healthy relationship helps to fix the flaws and everyday crises. We stand together to create a comfort living space. Building intimacy means building a safe contact which allows you to face the issue you would never face alone. It is a social behavior which is natural for human beings and the resistance is close to arguing with yourself.
Don’t fear the consequences of being dependent. It does not represent your weaknesses; a healthy relationship only makes you stronger and capable of much more.