A Sad Dating Story

I am a 33 year old divorced father of one. I wish to share with everybody a financially and emotionally painful experience I had with an attractive 25 year old hairdresser from Yoshkar-Ola, Russia. On 7 April 2006 I received an email from a lady named Sofiya through an internet dating site. It was very short and straight to the point.

We then started exchanging emails and photos and I was fooled by her emotional and warm words. She talked about how important it is to have trust and that she prefers to view the world as having more good people than bad and that she could not wait until she lives with me in Australia to be "happy forever". She was very convincing and I believed everything she said. The slight difference in Sofiya's technique compared to other scammers was that she answers questions in detail. She even talked about some local issues and cultural matters too. When I asked her why such a beautiful young lady is interested in me, she said that Russian men are alcoholics and that they do not respect women. We exchanged emails every day up until 22 May 2006.

I challenged Sofiya before she asked me for any money and said that her communication style fits perfectly into the "scam pattern". Sofiya then sent me a photo of herself with her mother, a photo of her as a little child etc to try and prove that she was genuine and she even telephoned me in the middle of the night! I felt sorry for her and unfortunately we re-commenced our communication.

On 24 April 2006 Sofiya asked me for money to purchase an air ticket, visa, passport, insurance etc with a total amount of $1,845 USD which I paid via Western Union on 8 May 2006. Sofiya then gave me details of her itinerary on 11 May 2006. Then on 22 May 2006 whilst she was supposedly in Moscow collecting her visa from the Australian Embassy, I received an urgent email request (from an internet cafe apparently) for $2,300 AUD to prove to the Embassy, her financial capacity to stay in Australia during the one month period.

She even telephoned me two times and we talked on the second call and she sounded very distressed begging me to pay that amount via Western Union. I checked the immigration policy in Australia and we actually do have a requirement to pay security bond when application for visa is lodged in certain countries including Russia. I therefore totally believed her and paid $2,350 AUD through Western Union on 23 May 2006.

I have not heard from Sofiya since I sent a confirmation to her that money has been transferred on 23 May 2006. I was so naive and silly that I waited for Sofiya for 3 hours at the airport with a bunch of flowers. Singapore Airlines later confirmed that Sofiya's original booking was cancelled by a Russian agent and that she did not re-book her flights.

The damage for all this was $3,625 USD and a broken heart. Oh and not to mention the one month annual leave that I forcefully obtained from my work and beachfront accommodation and restaurants that I had to cancel.

Is Sex Really An Addiction?

Sex addiction has more exposure today than ever, with household celebrities such as Russell Brand speaking openly about the condition; but what causes sex addiction and what does the problem entail?

Dr Abigael San, a clinical psychologist at The Priory Hospital, says, “Sex addiction, like other addiction problems, is a way of escaping when things get difficult. It’s a coping strategy and it can be very preoccupying. Sex addicts might find themselves spending lots of time sourcing pornography, looking at it and trying to get hold of it.”

Most people think that a sex addiction must stem from a sex-related issue, but usually it comes from the nature of addiction itself and is more about the feeling of helplessness. Dr. San explains, “Sex addiction runs a lot deeper than just sex. Of course, factors like a high sex drive are going to be relevant but they’re rarely the cause of sex addiction.” Although it’s an easy stereotype to place, sex addiction is usually more common in men than women, but that could be for a number of reasons, ranging from the fact we might expect men to carry the addiction, to the possibility that it’s more acceptable for a man to have it. With the Internet being readily available, sex addiction has more accessibility, so anyone who might have a tendency to be a sex addict would be able to go down that path.

Dr. San believes that with the right course of action, people can beat sex addiction, “Sex addiction should be treated in the same way as any other addiction problem, which means looking at the reasons behind the addiction and building up other areas of the addict’s life, such as going to therapy meetings, where they’ll meet new people and have less opportunity for encouraging their addiction.”

The best way to deal with sex addiction, or even worries about sex addiction, is to have an assessment by a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, and then take relevant addiction treatment from there.

http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/sex-addiction-laid-bare-125500112.html